Jasmine's inner turmoil
Bitter Secrets Progress - First Draft
I am slowly but surely making my way through Bitter Secrets. My goal is to complete the first draft by the end of the month. Last week, I hit that sticking point where you're not sure if what you wrote is any good, if you went astray about three chapters back, and what this story is about. I've been jumping all over the place--their first meet, revisiting their long distance marriage, and even some parts for book 3. Not surprisingly, I lost track of the flow of information and got all turned around.
I decided to retrace my steps and go back to the beginning. I combed through Bitter Heat, paying particular attention to the interactions between Roth and Jasmine to make sure I was getting the tone right in Bitter Secrets. The most mundane references suddenly took on a whole new meaning and that film started playing in my head, connecting plot-lines and tiny references I didn’t even know were a thing. I spent a day sketching out quite a few interesting ideas before I dove back into Bitter Secrets with newfound excitement and a map to guide me the rest of the way.
The ongoing battle between Jasmine and Roth creates this screaming tension that leaves me feeling drained at the end of the day. Not only are they fighting each other--they're fighting themselves and the mistakes and misunderstandings of their past. I really feel for Jasmine in this book. She's treading this fine line of truth and lies while trying to keep herself mentally and emotionally intact as she wars with him on a daily basis. She keeps telling herself this isn't personal, that this is a business arrangement, but it's hard to stay detached when he rouses so much in her. She's carrying this heavy burden and wants to believe there's good in him, but she doesn't dare.
Her eyes burned as she stared at him, willing him to give her something. Something to hold onto, something that would explain this tangled web she found herself in. She wanted to believe in the good in him like Sarai, but she couldn’t, not when she was in the dark, when she knew so little. She was supposed to be playing it cool, keeping it all in, but she felt like a flame, burning tall and bright. She couldn’t put it out. Her need to understand was stronger than her need for self-preservation.
Draft of Bitter Secrets © 2021 Mia Knight
I drop 2 - 3 snippets a week on Patreon and pop in daily to my Discord server, which I absolutely love! I really think it's going to be the next form of social media--or maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part. LOL. There's no drama feed, just these chatrooms where people engage in discussions by topic, which I think is pretty clever. We were talking into the wee hours of the morning last night and I gave into their plea to see a Roth POV snippet. LOL. Patreon has been a really fun and interesting experience. Posting frequently keeps me focused and the instant feedback and enthusiasm propels me onward.
Yesterday, I spent all day on one chapter. I was really frustrated with myself until I realized the chapter was 9k words. The chapters in Bitter Secrets are long. We're following the characters so closely with not many cuts in between, so each scene is playing out minute by minute and... that's a lot of description. A novella is 10 - 40k words. The average chapter in this book is 7k words and the longest scenes span 2 to 3 chapters.
In the Ulysses writing app, it shows how many characters are in that chapter, the word count, and the average time it would take someone to read that passage. I think this is an interesting detail and I try not to get frustrated when a scene takes me a day or two longer than I wanted to. When you're in the midst of a project, you have this endless list of scenes to get through. You lay awake at night, wondering how it's all going to get done. But somehow, it does, by doing just a little every day. I'm not sure what the final word count on Bitter Secrets is going to be, but I know it's going to be significantly longer than Bitter Heat. I'll post the word count when I'm finished with the first draft.
Crime Lord Series
I've had quite a few people ask about book 5 in the Crime Lord Series. As soon as Bitter Secrets is released, I'll start revising book 5, which are two books combined into one. Because of that, it will still take some time for me to do revisions. I'll let you guys know when I start revising and keep you apprised of my progress and of course, post a release date as soon as I have one.
Life Update
I hate tax season. Ugh. I was happy to hear that the federal deadline was delayed only to find out that Hawaii is still due in April. I know gathering all the info is the hardest part and crunching the numbers isn't really that bad, but I still dread it. Bleh.
Sleep-wise, I was doing really well and going down around 12am or 1, but it's slowly crept back to 3am. I don't know why I work better at night. Knowing everyone is asleep makes me feel like there's more room for me to flex my creative muscles and dream while the darkness gives me the license to do my worst. LOL.
There's been quite a few tragic deaths this week (non-COVID related) surrounding our family. My brother's best friend lost his dad, which means my brother will be making the trek back to Hawaii for that funeral. My aunt passed due to heart complications... I will also be attending that funeral if they have one. I'm the same age as my aunt's children so realizing this kind of stuff can happen at any time made me really grateful that my parents are still here. My grandma on my mom's side is my last living grandparent. She will be 89 and my dad will be 70 this year. My grandma was a child when they bombed Pearl Harbor in 1941. She was in DC when Martin Luther King marched. And now she's lived through a pandemic. She has advanced Alzheimer's so I'm not sure how much she knows about what's happening. Nothing, probably, and that's best since she's comfortable and happy. I really admire my parents generation who went from typewriters to computers to social media. I feel like I'm always playing catch up, but here's my parents, keeping up with the rest of the world. It's unreal. It constantly amazes me how people adapt. In some cases, we don't have a choice, but those who choose to move with the times like my parents have my utmost respect and admiration. They just keep on keeping on.
My parents generation are my favorite people to talk to. They're a mix of traditional and modern and have that old school, tell it like it is, don't-give-a-fuck-if-you're-offended going on. I love it. I'm closer to my parents friends than my own classmates. I'm that 30 year old power walking with the senior women on Saturday mornings. LMAO. I love listening to them talk and offer advice. We're from different times, but some advice is golden. I know way too much about social security, medicare, and retirement. LOL. They're empathetic and generous--sending my sister who just got divorced with two little boys under 6, money to help her through this hard time or checking in to make sure we're all right even though we're adults with our own families now. I hope when I'm their age that I'm just like them--keeping an eye out for the next generation and giving them a hand up when they're down. It's a tragedy to have so many of them go at once, but I guess I'm coming to that age where it's going to happen more frequently. I need to make more time for them. They won't be here forever.