150k words into Bitter Confessions
“Stay with me.”
“I can’t. You’ll destroy me.”
“I can’t destroy you without destroying myself.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means we start here.”
Bitter Confessions Snippet
© 2023 Mia Knight. All Rights Reserved.
I’ve officially passed the word count of Bitter Secrets (136k words). I estimated the word count for the rough draft to be around 180k, but now I’m pretty sure it'll be around 230-250k words. If it’s less, awesome, but with the way this book has been going so far, I think the word count will be insane. I knew this book would be long, but I had no idea it would be THIS long.
The first 11 chapters of the book are 105k words, and I haven’t even gotten to Christmas yet. The rest of the draft is stuff I wrote in 2021 or fragments of storylines that I’m not sure will pan out.
I've considered cutting a ton of stuff just to complete the first draft, but discarded that thought almost immediately. The first draft is where I write everything out in its entirety. In revisions, I nix parts that are excessive or boring. I knew I had my work cut out for me, getting them through a whole year of anniversaries, holidays, birthdays, public events, family, and all the other things that crop up. What I didn’t see coming were the quiet moments and scenes I didn’t plan that changed the course of the novel and made me fall in love with this couple all over again. I don’t think any book has surprised me as much as this one has, and I’m not even halfway through.
This book is such a departure from the others in the series that I’ve second guessed myself a lot, wondering if I’m going in the wrong direction. I feel just like Jasmine—scared to trust, afraid to believe this is real, or if I’m fabricating something that isn’t. I’m not going to lie. I am so deep in this thing that reality and fiction have blurred quite a bit.
Many things I thought wouldn’t be discussed until the last book came up in the first chapters, messing up my outline immediately. After the first chapters went haywire, I backed off. I’ve been feeling my way—getting through one chapter and then going, “Okay, what next?” And there’s always a small beam of light that shows the next scene, which leads to the next and the next. This is how I used to write when I was younger. Exploring rather than checking off to-do’s on my list. This way takes longer, but is much more rewarding and fun because I’m not plotting, I’m following instead of leading, and I have no idea what the fuck is going to happen next.
I thought I did a lot of research for the first two novels, but this one has been next level. In the past two weeks I watched several documentaries on the Rockefeller’s and researched: slow waltz, Gilded Age mansions, diamonds, hedge funds, mutual funds, Rolls-Royce interior, non-profit organizations vs. foundations, gothic artwork, frescos. I mean, the list goes on and on. When I’m not writing, I’m usually combing the internet for an answer to something. This book has been putting me through my paces and stretching me to the limit.
A week ago, I was so frustrated because I felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere. Then I realized that under normal circumstances, I would have been writing “the end” and patting myself on the back after hitting 100k words, instead of only being a third of the way into the book. My books are becoming doorstoppers. I can’t seem to stop myself from deep diving into this world instead of skimming the surface. I don’t know if I’ll ever write something like this in the future, so interesting scenarios I would normally put aside for future stories are going into this book.
I love the marriage of convenience trope and am never satisfied with how much a story shows, so I’m going all in and showing all the tumult I expect in a MOC story—the angst, sweet moments, and confusion and tension as they count down the days until their agreement is up. The push and pull between them is mesmerizing. I’ve never enjoyed myself more, so I’m going to let my muse do its thing and follow along. A lot of these scenes are a little surreal because I imagined them in 2019 when I published Bitter Heat, and now I'm finally writing them out in their entirety. They're better than I thought they could be.
But it takes time. So, please be patient and let me do my writing thing. I do not have a release date and won’t announce one until the book has been revised. Also, for those asking about the Crime Lord Series, after I fulfill these contracts for the Singed Series, I will return to that world to finish Carmen’s stories.
If you want to follow along as I write the first draft of Bitter Confessions, you can join my Patreon, where I share snippets four times (or more when I can’t help myself) a week. I also post inspirational images, polls, and occasionally rant about tough scenes and keep everyone updated on my progress. You also get access to my Discord server where I drop in most frequently and where we have monthly meetups. Shout out to all my patrons! They keep me motivated and excited. Their reactions are usually never what I expect and gives me a lot of food for thought. Their contribution is vitally important for me as it keeps me afloat while I write these gargantuan books and is also helping me pay for Bitter Heat to be made into audio, which is being done in November and should be out in December or early 2024! I couldn’t do this without them!