1200 miles in a different direction…
In my last personal update, I said I was bound for Hawaii. I intended to make it my home base, but life had other plans and I ended up somewhere quite different. It’s taken me this long to get settled and gather my thoughts. I’m still processing all that’s happened, but I think this blog will help me sort through the events that led me to where I am in this present moment.
Hawaii, the rabies-free state
Things basically went to hell in a hand basket because one of my dogs couldn’t pass a FAVN rabies anti-body test, which is required to enter the state. This delayed my return for 6+ weeks. This is the second time this particular dog hasn’t passed the test! For some reason, he doesn’t have enough anti-bodies in his blood. The vets are baffled by this and can’t give me a concrete reason why he continues to fail aside from his breed (Lhasa apso) or that he may have an abnormal immune system. Anyway, I decided to send the dog who did pass ahead of us. I was more worried about his welfare since he’s 14. Even with two lengthy delays (one in Vegas and one in Honolulu), which made his 8-hour trip closer to 12, he arrived on the Big Island in tip-top shape. He’s completely recovered from the trip and currently being spoiled by my parents and enjoying the warm, tropical weather. I’m jealous.
Waiting, waiting, waiting
What I thought would be a month-long stay at my sister’s in Las Vegas stretched into two. I was living out of suitcases and not sure what to send ahead or keep with me because I had no idea how long I was going to be there. I had quite a few crisis’ to keep me busy—Bitter Heat got temporarily banned from Apple, which prompted me to publish on every retailer possible and build an ebook store on my website (I’ll expand on this in a future blog). Also, before my RV made a month in storage, my catalytic converter was stolen. I had to visit the police station (interesting and unexpected experience) to file a report and spent a week playing phone tag with the insurance companies. Sigh. Most weekends, I babysat my five and seven-year-old nephews who were a handful and wiled away the time by sorting through a year’s worth of paperwork and taking care of financial and administrative tasks that had been pushed to the side. I tried not to worry about the time passing me by and told myself I would catch up once I was settled in Hawaii.
By mid-March, I was at the end of my rope and desperate for a distraction. I reached out to a longtime friend in Arizona to ask if she was free so I could visit for a couple of days. She immediately said yes, so I got a rental car and headed out for a much-needed break. My friend and I have known each other for 15 years. We met at a dog park in Las Vegas when I was 20, and she was 55. There’s something about having a friend who knows your history and everyone in it so well that you don’t have to explain much—they can automatically fill in the blanks.
We had a great time catching up. I felt refreshed and invigorated, but on my last day, I received the devastating news that there was yet another 3-6 week delay and more complications. I would now have to fly out of Los Angeles instead of Las Vegas because of a flying embargo (due to the heat). And I also discovered that my living arrangements in Hawaii weren’t as stable as I’d hoped. My plan, which had seemed so straightforward, was in complete shambles. I was so frustrated, I broke down in tears. I was now under contract and trying to align my life to fulfill it, and everything was working against me. To top it off, my goodwill with my sister was running out. I had no idea what I was going to do.
Pivot
My friend stepped into the breach and told me to come with her and her husband to Washington for the Summer (they were snow birding in Arizona and were going to leave in a few weeks). I was flattered and grateful, but also disconcerted by the offer. How was that going to resolve these issues? She reasoned that the timing obviously wasn’t right and instead of beating my head against the wall, that maybe I should give everything a few months to settle. If I was really meant to go back to Hawaii, I could go back in the Fall/Winter. The worst thing was being in limbo and waiting around. On the surface, it didn’t make sense to head off to the Pacific Northwest when I had sent most of my belongings and my dog to Hawaii and now… Washington?! I visited Seattle 3 times in my life, but the rest of the state was a complete mystery to me. This was so out of the blue and a little insane, but I also sensed the rightness of it even though I couldn’t explain why. My friend told me these days we have to pivot quickly, so I did. I gladly accepted her offer and returned to Las Vegas to pivot the shit out of my life.
First things first, I needed wheels. Thankfully, my brother in Salt Lake City was willing to help. Two days after I returned to Las Vegas, he drove down an ’03 Durango for me and flew home that night. He’s the best. I wanted to sell my RV to tie up that loose end, but that dragged on, and I realized it was holding me back, so I ended up leaving it in storage, as I had intended when I thought I was moving back to Hawaii. With the catalytic converter gone, the damn thing wasn’t going anywhere, anyway.
Two and a half weeks after I accepted my friend’s offer, I found myself on the road again with my meager belongings in the back of my car. Part of me was thrilled to be on another adventure, but the other part was terrified. I’ve done some risky shit in my life, but this has to be in my top three. I was moving to a place I’d never seen. I was also moving in with a friend, which I usually avoid because I need so much alone time to think and write, and most people don’t understand that. Also, we’ve been friends for almost two decades, but we’d gone years without talking, and I wasn’t certain how we’d deal with one another in the long run.
I had a vision in my head of what my new season in life was going to look like, and now it was a complete blank. Hundreds of questions swirled around my mind, and I didn’t have an answer to one of them. All I knew was, considering everything going on, this was the best option and nothing could be decided until I got there. So, I drove 1200 miles (1931 km) in a different direction.
Pacific Northwest
The trip took me 6 days.
Las Vegas to Reno
Reno to Medford
Medford to Eugene (Spent the night in Medford because of bad weather)
Eugene to final destination in Washington
I spent a couple of days with my sister in Oregon since we hadn’t seen each other for 3 years. It was a nice break. We also met up with my brother who was in Bend for a party and we had a mini reunion. It was awesome!
I finished the last leg of my trip, beaming at the blooming cherry blossom trees and yellow daffodils that lined the interstate, welcoming me as I drove into a new season. When I crossed into Washington, I watched the open fields disappear and marveled at the dense, towering forests, enfolded in mist and mystery. I arrived on a rainy April afternoon and got out of the car in my friend’s driveway and stared up at the 100’ moss-covered monsters looming overhead and couldn’t help thinking I was living in Twilight. It was dead quiet with just the quiet patter of light rain to welcome me. I walked into her house and stopped dead when I saw the wall of picture windows that looked out at her own personal forest and through a gap in the trees, a view of the Puget Sound and West Seattle.
I had a week to myself before my friend arrived. I cruised around the small town and bought groceries, set up a mailbox, and spent hours staring at the mesmerizing view of the tree branches swaying in the wind. My friend’s friend was in desperate need of a house/pet sitter, so we met to walk our dogs, so they would be accustomed to one another. I thought we were going to a park, but she took me to a legit forest and I was instantly enamored.
The forest was so dense, it absorbed all sound. It was like someone had clapped their hands over my ears. It was a little freaky. My friend's husband said that being in the midst of all these trees 24/7 can get claustrophobic, but I felt soothed and comforted. I’ve always fantasized about having a little witch’s cottage in the forest, but I’ve never lived in such an environment and wasn’t sure I could live without constant sunlight (which is why I’ve always chosen desert or tropical locations), but this moody weather speaks to me on a level I didn’t know I had. I always play rain/thunderstorms on repeat when I write, and now the real thing is happening outside my window.
The house I stayed in for a week was a writer’s dream—a glass beach house with a view that made my heart swell with joy. I thought I would get a lot of work done, but I was distracted by the action on the water—bald eagle’s swooping down to catch fish, the ferry passing every hour, sail boats gliding by… I was fascinated by the high and low tides and the exposed beach when the water went out. I also ran into the neighbors. It’s a small town with a large retirement community, and I unintentionally found myself offering to house/petsit for many of these people who have upcoming trips planned. LOL.
I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. I have no idea how long I’ll be here, but I figure while I’m here, I’m going to make the most of it. I just made a month, and I can’t believe how beautiful it is here. I spent most of my time RVing, trying to find the most remote locations to get away from everyone and everything, only to find this beautiful location deserted. What the hell? Not that I’m complaining, but I’m baffled by the lack of people. I was moving back to Hawaii because I never found a place in the mainland that spoke to me, but could this be it? A writer’s paradise? Part of me thinks so, but everyone’s warning me that the bleak, long winters are brutal, so… we’ll see.
My parents have agreed to watch my boy in Hawaii until Fall/Winter. By then I’ll know whether I’m staying or moving back there. Although I wish my senior pup was here, I know he’s better off in paradise since I’m still a traveling gypsy. My goal is to complete Carmen’s stories and write the first draft of Bitter Confessions before I leave here. The last thing I had to do before I delve into the Crime Lord Series is this update, so here it is. I think some people were getting worried that I hadn’t posted, but I was trying to figure out where I wanted to live. Fucking story of my life. The craziest part about this mess is, I ended up in a better place by happenstance. Hawaii is paradise in many ways, but I knew what to expect going home. I could see a decade into the future. Here, it’s murky and anything’s possible. I never would have gone out of my way to visit this state and now I’m wondering if this is going to be my permanent home. I love that I can take a ferry to the city or up to Alaska or Canada or take a train to bug my sister in Oregon (I already told her I’m crashing her holidays because she carries on our family traditions and dishes).
Major shout out to my friend! She’s stepped up numerous times when I’ve been in crisis and always thrown me a lifeline. I don’t know how I’m ever going to repay her. I was exhausted from my year on the road and wanted to move near a friend or family member that I could call on for emergency or if the world shut down again. I can’t believe I landed in the midst of such a welcoming and generous community.
I’ll be posting updates on the Crime Lord Series soon!