Thank You to my readers!
I can’t believe Bitter Secrets has been out in the world for a month! Where has the time gone? Ahh! I meant to write this blog weeks ago, but my life has turned upside down (in a good way) and I haven’t been able to sit down and gather my thoughts until now. We’re going to get into all kinds of stuff in this blog like a behind-the-scenes on the launch, what I’ve been up to since, and some exciting developments for 2023, but first…
Thank You!
Thank you for making Bitter Secrets such a massive success! I had no idea what to expect with this launch. It seemed like I had everything going against me—my long absence, no social media presence, a sequel four years late, releasing right after the holidays… I mean, can I list worse odds??
I swung between ironclad confidence to mind-numbing terror on an hourly basis. I have the writer version of stage fright. When I release, I feel physically ill for days before I get used to the thought of having another book in the world and the fear of hate and criticism passes. I thought this would ease up over time, but twenty books in, the sensation is still the same. Worse, actually, but it only lasts a couple of days and then I can get on with life. I told myself that even if the book was met with polite, unenthusiastic applause or complete and utter silence, that at least I’d finished. That’s all that mattered. I love the story and even if the results were less than stellar, I had Carmen’s story to distract me and improve upon.
I’m stunned to report that this has been my biggest release to date, and I have all of you to thank for it. I’m drop-to-my-knees humbled by your support. The fact that you showed up after all this time… That you gave me another chance and shared posts, wrote reviews, and urged your friends to give me a try… Thank you. Those two words can’t begin to express how grateful I am. I just… Is there a better feeling than to have something you worked your ass off on be embraced by those you wrote it for? No, I don’t think so.
The visuals created on TikTok, Pinterest boards, Instagram reels, and other mediums blows my mind. I’m not a visual person. Coming up with a cover is the most stressful thing in the world for me, and even when people ask me what the characters look like, I have no real life muse. In my head, they’re just Roth and Jasmine and I sense more than see them, if that makes any sense. I absolutely love the collages and reels and moody music you use. I wish I was creative in that sense, but my medium is words. Everything else, I’m pretty hopeless, so I love seeing what you create. I write for myself, but I realize a story doesn’t truly come alive until the characters live and thrive in the minds of others as well as my own.
For those who finished and need counseling, there’s a spoiler group for you to commiserate with others. I’m not in the group because I can’t answer any questions and I think it’s a place for readers to speculate and discuss without me present, so… have at it!
In the week after Bitter Secrets released, I circulated a Q & A form. Nearly 200 questions were submitted, and I answered the ones that cropped up the most. I’ll post my answers here for those who missed it. But first, I’ll address the #1 question.
2023 Release Schedule
When the hell is book 3 in the Singed Series coming out?
I avoided giving a direct answer for obvious reasons (I don’t know!), but I realize you need a timeline of some sort. So (against my better judgment), I’ll give you one. Just know that this isn’t set in stone. Numerous things could alter these dates. Of course, I’ll keep you apprised of my progress here on this blog, so you’ll know what book I’m on and where in the process.
As mentioned at the end of Bitter Secrets, I’m committed to publishing the books I’ve already written. One was Bitter Secrets and the second (third and possibly fourth) are the books which conclude Carmen’s story arc. I wrote the first draft of these books two years ago and haven’t revisited them. They need a rewrite and edit. It’s been a long time since I’ve looked at them, so I’m not certain how much work they need, but my goal is to release them this Summer.
After I release Carmen's books, I'll switch back to the Singed Series and complete the first draft of book 3 in the last half (or quarter) of the year. Currently, book 3 is 76k words long. I felt like I was kind of meandering because the events, dialogue, etc. hadn’t been nailed down in the previous book, which is why I finished Bitter Secrets. Now, I can move forward more confidently, knowing what has/hasn’t been said and choose the right events to show in the next book. Ideally, I’d like to write books 3 & 4 back to back, but I may not have enough time… We’ll see. I'm aiming for book 3 in the Singed Series (Bitter Confessions) to release in the first half of 2024. Of course, if I can release it earlier, I will, but that’s what I’m aiming for.
This is a broad timeline that may seem ridiculously long to a reader, but to a writer, it sends a chill up my spine. I usually publish one book a year. This year, I’m committing to four and completing my longest novel yet. When I look at this mountain of work, I feel the beginning pangs of panic. I have to remind myself to focus on just laying one brick (sentence, paragraph, chapter) at a time. Doing a little every day goes a long way.
For optimum focus, I will be offline. I enjoyed being back on social media and reconnecting with old friends and meeting new readers, but social media is too distracting for me, and it’s gonna take everything I have to get these books out.
My main hub of communication will be my website. I aim to post (hopefully on a monthly basis) my progress on my blog, so you’ll know where I am in my process. I think these long form blogs are more informative than the short, doctored snippets people share on social media. It also forces me to structure my thoughts into essay form and helps me process what’s going on and puts everything into perspective for me. I’m amazed how many people have come up to me and told me they read through my long-winded blogs and look forward to them. So, I will continue to blog and share my thoughts as I make my way through the books and life.
My Facebook and Instagram accounts will be managed by my PA, Emily Alice.
Translations & Book Box
One of the reasons for my absence is because I signed translations rights for the Singed Series! I’ve always been leery about going into contract for an unfinished series. We negotiated deadlines for book 3 & 4, which prompted me to take a long, hard look at my lifestyle. To meet these deadlines, I had to make some major changes (more on this later). Bitter Heat and Bitter Secrets will be translated into German, French, Italian, and Polish! Translations take time, but know within the next 12 months, you’ll see my books in another language. I can’t wait to get my hands on a foreign paperback. I am going to freak!
I was also approached about a book box for Bitter Heat in the Spring! They’ll create an exclusive cover, NSFW art, book themed enamel pins, and other trinkets. I’m so excited to see what they do! I’ve always wanted to do something like this, but never had the time. If this does well, I may do more for other books. I’ll announce when the boxes are available to order!
Background on the launch
In December, I got out of my rig and rented a house. Knowing how much work I had ahead of me, I would rather not have to worry about my pipes freezing or constantly running to the laundromat. It’s also been a freakishly cold winter, and I was miserable in the rig (those who RV in the winter, salute!). Going into a house after being on the road for 10 months was a dream. Central heat, hot water on demand, a massive fridge, and stove? Man, you don’t realize how luxurious all this is until you don’t have it. Creature comforts made the long hours pouring over rewrites and publishing tasks much easier.
I was a little nervous since it’s been so long since I published. I haven’t used these programs in years, but it was like riding a bike. Scary, overwhelming, and awkward at first, but I kept pushing through and everything started coming back to me.
I don’t know if I mentioned in the past, but May makes 10 years that I’ve been self-publishing. There are so many facets to publishing a book. Writing is just the tip of the iceberg. Once you create the product, you have to put on your editing cap and objectively slash and dice what you’ve written, polish it, and hand it off to an editor who makes their cuts. You ponder, reconsider, polish again, and then the real work begins. If you’re independent, you are your website designer, social media manager, marketer, researcher, customer service representative, accountant, and everything in between. As a publisher, you are responsible for every part of that book—cover, blurb, content, copyright, keywords, categories. You also have to create custom ebook files for each retailer. You’re also hopping from one social media platform to another to post teasers, respond to messages and comments, and try to drum up excitement for the book. This release was made a little more complicated with me fulfilling patron incentives. Because I quit Patreon, I had to find alternative ways to deliver the ebooks to almost 300 people (thank God for Book Funnel)! If you are one of my patrons and didn’t receive the raw draft or the final ebook, and you were a Bigger Baddie (middle tier) in October 2021, you can reach out to me and I’ll double-check my records. As for my Super Baddies who paid 2 months, you’re eligible for signed paperbacks. I sent out the first wave of books last week and will send out another batch when the next shipment comes in. If you want to claim your paperback, reach out to me, and I’ll confirm your address and the personalization.
I had an insanely long list of tasks. At times, I doubted whether I would get through it all, but a week before the release I raised my head and realized everything was done on the administrative end. All there was left to do was wait until January 11. I planned to try some fresh marketing strategies, but I was too drained. I decided to do as I’ve always done and have faith in word of mouth—the only marketing strategy I’ve ever employed that has never let me down.
Like I mentioned in the beginning, I had no idea what to expect. In my mind, releasing after the holidays wasn’t a prime time and to make matters worse, I heard two Author Tubers talking about sequels they released in the Fall that had less than stellar sales. I’m not gonna lie. I was worried, but I knew putting out something was better than nothing, so I cast my doubts aside and set the date.
A day before the book released, I got an unexpected gift. I gave Bitter Secrets to two authors who asked for ARCs. One of them was Anna Zaires. We’ve rubbed shoulders a few times, and we’re cordial, but not homies. She publicly stated that she liked Bitter Heat, but my jaded self couldn’t help but think she was just being nice. Despite that, I wanted to follow through and offer her Bitter Secrets, even though it’s been four years since she asked for it. She happily accepted. I didn’t expect anything to come from it, but the day before release when my stress was sky-high, I logged onto Facebook and saw she tagged me in a post.
This shout out made me tear up and when I saw the email she sent, telling me she was going to write about me in her newsletter and recommend me on Bookbub “because more people need to discover this amazing story,” I broke down.
I hate when anyone reads my work (I know I have a problem, but at least I still publish), but another author? I avoid it at all costs (and not just because of asshole authors in the past). I am a notoriously finicky reader and assume other authors are as well. I’m critical and impatient and need a book to hit certain notes, and if that doesn’t happen when I suspect it should, I drop the book like a hot potato. I’m a notorious DNF’r. I’m so particular that I rarely read anything new. I tend to reread my extensive collection of vetted books I like. (I know I’m weird, but I’m a writer, so I’m allowed to be eccentric. Sniff.)
Anyway, back to Anna. It’s one thing for readers to like your work, but having another author you respect and look up to enjoy your work is… I don’t know. To me, it’s the equivalent of meeting your favorite actor or singer. You’re sort of starstruck and crying hysterically and babbling like an imbecile. I love her Bookbub recommendation:
Anna injected me with a much-needed boost of faith and optimism and set the tone for the release, which was absolutely phenomenal. I was humbled by her generosity and forgave her for asking the forbidden question authors hate above all others: When’s the next book coming out? She even acknowledged that she hates when readers ask her this as well, but she couldn’t help herself. LMAO.
Bitter Heat ban
When I was setting up my pre-order for Bitter Secrets, I received an email, saying that Bitter Heat was being removed from Apple, Barnes&Noble, and several other retailers for:
Dubious Consent (dubcon): Dubcon explores the gray area between consent and non-consent. Not clear if the receiver of the sexual act was fully on board or not at the time of the act.
I contested this and although Bitter Heat stayed up during the release of Bitter Secrets, it’s now been officially removed from multiple retailers. I’m in the process of trying to get it back up and will be selling direct on my website in future because having my content deemed unacceptable by retailers is becoming a common occurrence. I don’t want to be exclusive with Amazon. They can change their policies at any moment and a considerable portion of my audience isn’t on there, so I’m going to make sure my books are in as many places as possible and, if all else fails, can be purchased on my website (currently working on this behind the scenes and will update when I have news).
I am honestly baffled by the struggle to keep my books on shelves when we are simultaneously in this sexually liberated era where Fifty Shades has been widely accepted and commercialized and Cardi B is one of the hottest music artists. I think her music videos and lyrics are more explicit and less PC than my work, yet she thrives. I don't understand the double standard and have stopped trying to figure it out. Bitter Heat was shadow-banned before it was officially booted. The only way it would be discovered is if readers typed it in. So, when I say I couldn’t do this without you all, I mean it! Your recommendations to other readers keeps me going because I’m constantly battling retailers to keep my books on their sites.
My strategy is to not depend on any of these platforms and just make sure my audience has access to me through my website. I just wanted to bring this up, so you’re aware of it. I hope this is resolved soon!
Home Base
And, finally, what the hell have I been doing since Bitter Secrets released? Setting up my home base.
I’ve been living on the road for nearly a year and while I love the lifestyle, being a nomad and writing don’t really mix. Traveling is a lifestyle that occupies a huge portion of your mind. You’re always wondering where you’re going next, what you need to take care of before moving on, how long you can stay in one place, weather, etc. You’re constantly trying to orient yourself and figure out where the banks, grocery stores, laundromats, and dump/propane stations are in every new town.
To create, I need routine, consistency, and a mundane daily life that doesn’t require me to be on my toes. This quote comes to mind:
“Be orderly and disciplined in daily life, like a good bourgeois, so that I might be wild and violent in my art.”
I was already playing with the idea of settling somewhere to finish Carmen’s books. The contracts for translations sealed the deal for me. Now I have deadlines and within a week of me releasing Bitter Secrets, I put my plans for a home base into action. I moved out of the rig and put it in storage. I’m currently in temporary housing while I get my affairs in order.
I’m not going to lie. I’m not disappointed to return to “civilized” life. I counted recently, and I’ve moved 13 times in 15 years. Since I turned 20, I’ve never settled anywhere. I never hung anything on the walls, bought plants, painted walls… I never owned paperbacks of my novels. Everything for me has always been temporary, but I want to change that. I need to make a home for myself. Stability and roots are necessary for growth, and if I wasn’t moving so much, who knows what I would accomplish?
I will definitely come back to RVing. There’s still so much I would like to see and do. The road helped clear my head and prioritize my life. For the first time in years, I could dream again. I rewrote Bitter Secrets in the rig, but it was super challenging. RVs were made for camping and living outdoors, not working long hours in front of a computer. I pushed myself to the limit to complete the project while escaping Utah’s harsh winters. I also have a 15-year-old dog that deserves some rest. He tolerated the road, but he’s slowing down rapidly, and I don’t want to put more stress on him than is necessary.
I’m going back to Hawaii.
Yes, you read that right.
Almost a year to the day, I’m heading back. Again. I never found a place in the mainland I wanted to settle, so I’m going back to my homeland. This time, with the intention to make it my home base and periodically come back to the mainland to travel and reset myself.
I feel invigorated, reborn. 2022 did wonders for me mentally and spiritually. It’s given me a new outlook on life and rekindled fires I thought had died. I can’t wait to delve back into these stories and complete my series. When I was young and unfiltered, I wrote fast and furious. I hope I can go back to that while also giving myself permission to live and have fun along the way.
Having you all show up upon the release of Bitter Secrets affirmed that people still want to hear from me, that they’re still interested in the way I tell stories, and I have a spot in the industry. In Carmen’s sequel and in Bitter Secrets, I knew I was deviating from what was expected/normal since I was focusing more on story and character than was normal for romance. I wasn’t sure how the public would react to that, but the aftermath of Bitter Secrets seems like a good indicator that enough readers are okay with it for me to continue doing what I’m doing.
Again, thank you for your support of my work and of me. Thank you for recommending me to other readers and for creating art that captures people’s attention and helps me dream.
There’s so much I want to do. If I do even a fraction of it, 2023 will be an awesome year! I’ll be in touch!