Writing Roth’s POV
I told myself that all I really needed was Maximus’ POV for the blackmailing showdown. I should be laying down words in BC (Bitter Confessions), not in book 5 that won’t see the light of day for some time. But, when I woke up yesterday, the aftermath of that scene from Roth’s POV was playing in my mind. I told myself I’d just spend the morning with Roth and… I ended up spending the whole day with him and he fucking wrecked me.
I bawled my eyes out and even today, my mind is still on him in the past instead of him in the present, and it’s messing with my head.
I thought I would write what I saw in my head and then move onto BC, but I was so wrapped up in him, I couldn’t break away. In all honesty, I kind of didn’t want to. It’s one thing to see him from Jasmine’s POV, and something completely different being immersed in his mind and letting everything rip. Fuck. I haven’t even written his book, but I already know that chapter in particular will be a highlight once readers get their hands on it.
I’m completely serious when I say I jumped out of my chair and walked away. Sometimes because of a euphoric rush, and I was literally looking for someone to scream and jump around with. Other times because I needed a moment to take in what he was saying. I’d clean a little or fill up the dog's water bowls and let my mind turn over what Roth revealed without cutting him off as the scene continued on in my mind. I was so enraptured that a couple of times I shared snippets that were a little too revealing because I had to tell someone or combust. Thankfully, though, I came to my senses and deleted them before they were read… Resulting in none too happy messages from people who knew I’d unsent something. LMAO. (Honestly, this is the main reason I decided to do this membership thing again—I have to tell someone. And if these someone's are just as invested and want to know every tidbit, I’m thrilled to share. To an extent. LOL).
At the end of the day, I was kind of just sitting at my desk with tears in my eyes because Roth just overwhelms me. He has from the start. I don’t think I’ve ever written a character that frustrates me so much. Who I have to beat with a stick to divulge anything. It’s almost like he’s a real person who stubbornly refuses to tell me shit. Asshole. But as we get deeper into the series, I understand him more and writing him has become a delight. Well, a painful delight. And I love and loathe him and kind of wish I could just stay in book 5 with him, but we have a lot of work to do in BC, so… we’ll get there.
Gah, everything in this chapter is a spoiler, but I have to give you some, so, here:
“If Maximus had any inkling what his daughter evoked in him, he would have killed him instead of blackmailing him. Jasmine hated him? Regretted being with him? She would rue the day they crossed paths because unlike what everyone wanted to believe, she was the only person on the planet he cared for, and that made him her worst nightmare.”