Update for Bitter Secrets

Hi, everyone! Yes, I’m alive. Thank you to those who sent encouraging emails, messages, and comments. This has been a challenging, yet rewarding year for me. I’ll expand on that in a separate blog, but here, I want to focus on Bitter Secrets. The wait is almost over!

I finished rewrites on November 28 and was fortunate to find an editor (thank you, Emily!) on the 30. The editor’s deadline is December 20. Once I get the manuscript back, I’ll comb through the edits. Hopefully, that won’t take me longer than 2-3 days, and then I can set the pre-order, so it will launch on the same day on all retailers. I wanted to release by the end of December, but between the holiday closures and the 14-day pre-order requirements for one specific retailer, it may be pushed to early January. But, regardless of that, the release is right around the corner!

About the novel:

Bitter Secrets picks up three days after Bitter Heat ends and follows Roth and Jasmine through the first month of their arranged marriage. I’m breaking up the year into two installments—book 3 will document the other 11 months. For those who read the raw draft on Patreon, everything from part 1 and the chapters I showed of part 2 are all in here.

This baby is 137k words, my longest book yet. Bitter Heat is 90k words and my longest novel prior to Bitter Secrets was Awakened by Sin, which is 135k words. I talked in previous blogs about doing as little time jumps as possible. That’s true for this novel, which follows Roth and Jasmine day by day. I wanted to pay special attention to this point in their relationship when they’re adjusting to these new circumstances, testing each other’s limits, and grappling with their complicated, volatile past.

Arranged marriage/fake relationships is one of my favorite tropes, but this is a much more realistic take and made more intense by the fact that they’ve been married before, he was blackmailed by her father, and countless other factors that crank the story up a few notches.

This story could have gone in so many directions. I actually wrote a draft of Bitter Secrets before Bitter Heat was published. The plans I had at that time bear no resemblance to the book you’re about to read. I know the wait has been torture, but time has allowed me to expand the plot and delve deeper into the backgrounds and psyche of the characters to an extent I never imagined. I have pages of notes, charts, and even videos to help me keep the character’s secrets, motives, and future plot lines in order. Sometimes, I look more like a mad scientist than a romance author. LOL.

I am so damn proud of this novel because I had moments when I doubted whether I could do it justice. This story required more research than any other novel I’ve written. This is just a sample of some of the topics I looked into in an attempt to understand Roth and Jasmine’s world… with some sex inspiration thrown in as well. LOL.

I don’t know how many travel blogs I read or videos I watched in an effort to bring these exotic locations to life. This book really forced me out of my comfort zone, and I was terrified to get something wrong, but I did my best to get everything as accurate as possible and told myself that would have to be enough. I consoled myself with videos on YouTube like“Real Doctor reacts to Grey’s Anatomy” where he points out the liberties Hollywood takes. They aren’t concerned with getting anything right most of the time, they’re more focused on entertainment. I agree with Twain:

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

—Mark Twain

I hope you guys like the new characters that are introduced in this book, the new locations, flashbacks to the beginning of Roth and Jasmine’s relationship, and of course, their battles as they try to sort out their feelings for one another. (Drop me a line after it drops and let me know which is your favorite! ;)) I realized so much about myself through writing this book. I noticed that sometimes my book reads more like a screen play because I’m directing the characters, and I actually said this sentence to my sister, “I’m not happy with the choreography in this scene.” I want to know where Jasmine is in the room, what she’s holding, and body movement like Jasmine swinging her leg back and forth to show she’s at ease when we know she’s anything but. I love adding sounds, taste, and touch like the rough wood grain beneath her hands as she braces herself on his desk… 😳 I freaking love dialogue—the nuances and undertones. It’s my favorite way of conveying information, and I live for a great one-liner that strikes you in the gut. There are so many facets to these characters and their world, and I surrendered to them completely. This book was truly a labor of love. Despite the length, this book is only 18 chapters. I think there’s 3 or 4 chapters dedicated to one day. The scenes roll into one another and there’s little to no gaps. It’s kind of crazy. Their story is emotionally draining and since I mirror them when I write, it left me feeling exhausted and hollow, but satisfied.

This book will always stick out in my mind for many reasons, but one of the main ones is because it was written before an audience on Patreon. I’d never shown anyone a first draft. It was nerve-wracking to show raw work, but the enthusiasm and support from the patrons spurred me on. Their comments gave me quite a lot to think about and helped me plant red herrings, breadcrumbs, and sow seeds of doubt. I cackled as they debated on Discord for hours afterwards. LMAO. I don’t think this book would be what it’s become if it wasn’t for their input, love for the characters and story, and unwavering support of me. Shout out to all of my patrons!

Even for my patrons who read the raw draft, I think they will find this an entirely different book, and not just because I added 15k words. I lost confidence in my writing after I published Bitter Heat. I wasn’t prepared for the insane backlash, being banned from a retailer, or having an ARC pirated. Although I pushed through and wrote the first draft of Bitter Secrets, I held back. Some scenes had 3 different versions of Roth—stoic Roth, angry Roth, and psycho Roth. Each version led to a different conclusion. I erred on the safe side with stoic/angry Roth, but when I dug into rewrites, I decided to write his authentic self, which means he’s a bit unhinged.

I was a little worried about how my patrons would react to the rewrites, since they liked the first draft as it was. In this version, Roth showed a lot more emotion and revealed more than I intended for this installment. I shared some snippets and was pleasantly surprised by my girls enthusiastic approval. There are only a handful of paragraphs that went untouched during rewrites. Flashbacks shown at the end were moved to the beginning, dialogue from different scenes were swapped here and there, and deleted scenes I cut from the rough draft were stitched in due to patron demand and threat of bodily harm. LOL.

Jasmine and Roth are some of the most complex characters I’ve ever worked with, and I’m so excited to share the continuation on their story with you! This isn’t the final, but if you want a sneak peek:

Patrons

For those who were Bigger Baddies (the middle tier) the last month (October) on Patreon, I can’t offer ARCs like I intended because of the raw draft being leaked, but on release day, I’ll send the draft you read on Patreon and the final ebook. As for Super Baddies, those who paid 2 months got ARCs (if you didn’t and think there’s been an error, feel free to email me). Also, Super Baddies, don’t forget to let me know if you want your name listed in the acknowledgments.

Once again, thank you all for your support!

Crime Lord Series

Carmen’s three installments will be my next project after releasing Bitter Secrets!

Singed Series

Book 3, tentatively titled Bitter Confessions, will be completed once Carmen’s stories are concluded.

Social Media

I will be returning to social media and hope to chat with you all prior to release and after, of course. I can’t wait to see the art you create and hear your favorite scenes/lines!

Personal News

I’ve been on quite the personal journey this year and had quite a few life-altering epiphanies that led to me completing Bitter Secrets, deciding to come back to social media, and hopefully changing my life for the better. I opted out of having hand surgery and instead decided to take up a more active lifestyle where I didn’t spend so much time at a desk. It’s helped considerably. I do still have aches and cramps if I work too many hours at a time, so I try to avoid that, but I have more balance in my life and am much happier.

Once again, thank you to all who sent sweet emails and messages and never gave up on me. I think this blackout from social media and my business was necessary for me to sort myself out, so I could come back focused and determined to complete these projects. I’ll take you through all that in the next blog.

I hope you’re well. Can’t wait to hear what’s been going on with you all!