2023 Recap
Started off the year strong by publishing Bitter Secrets after a 4-year hiatus. I also returned to social media, which was nerve-wracking, but has been such a blessing. Connecting with readers has been so much fun, and witnessing how the book community’s evolved is inspiring. We’ve come a long way from Facebook groups. I actually read more than I have in years due to Instagram book reels!
Image from @gabbylaromantica on Instagram
I did my first special edition/book box with Prettygalpins. This was a great experience and I was thrilled to see a special edition of Bitter Heat! The book boxes sold out within 5 minutes. This has given me so many ideas for future special editions I’d like to do!
Image from @niezwyklezagraniczne on Instagram
The Polish translation of Bitter Heat came out in November. Having Polish readers tag me in images and reviews has been wonderful! Seeing my book in another language is surreal. I can’t wait to get my hand on one of those beautiful paperbacks!
I restarted my Patreon, which has been an absolute blast! I adore my girls! We have monthly meetups, and they’re so encouraging and enthusiastic about what I share. Knowing I have to post several times a week pushes me past my natural tendency to hoard my work because I’m embarrassed that it’s not perfect. I’m getting used to showing imperfect, partially formed ideas, which is the evolution of story writing. Posting frequently keeps me focused and motivated. It’s also nice to have a group of people to bounce ideas off of, ask for name suggestions, and their opinion on all the random things that come up during writing. I also love seeing their comments on scenes and reading theories. It’s great fun!
Writing in 2023
At the beginning of the year, I was all over the place. I mean, literally. I published Bitter Secrets at an Airbnb in Bullhead City, AZ. Then, I was in Las Vegas, NV from February through April as I got my affairs in order. In April, I also spent a couple of days in Eugene, OR before I ended up in Port Orchard, WA. And I moved back to Hawaii in mid-June.
The first 6 months of 2023 was complete and utter chaos. I was originally going to rewrite the 3 books I wrote years ago from the Crime Lord Series, but I realized with half the year gone, I had to fulfill my contracts for the Singed Series, so I got to work on those.
There is no freaking way I can work on big projects while I’m on the road. So, while I was in transition, I indulged my muse by writing in small bursts. I needed to get back to writing consistently. It didn’t matter what. I allowed myself to come up with wild plots and let my mind unspool. Here are snippets of some of the tales I indulged in:
I thought of a story where a woman becomes entangled with a man that she later realizes is a legit psycho running a cult. She ends up testifying against him. She thinks he died in prison, but…
“Hey, baby.”
She froze with the cold water rushing over her hands. That voice… It couldn’t be.
“You’re dead,” she whispered.
The ghost walked with slow, deliberate steps and came to a stop behind her. Her heart thudded in her ears. It had finally happened. She’d gone crazy. She could even feel the gust of warm breath on her nape. Goosebumps erupted over her arms.
“You think a ghost can do this?”
When a hand splayed over her stomach, she let out an ear-piercing scream and jerked away so hard, she crashed to the ground. She stared up at the apparition, hands planted on the floor on either side of her.
He looked the same. Clean-shaven. Handsome.
“You’re dead,” she whispered, willing herself to believe it, but she could smell him now. That same cologne. Her mind wouldn’t remember to add that detail, would it? And if it didn’t, that meant… Her skin went icy with terror.
“You really thought you could get rid of me? That I’d let death take me without putting up a fight? You should know me better than that, baby.”
Her throat constricted with fear. She couldn’t speak. All she could do was shake her head as she scooted backwards, willing her useless jelly legs to get their strength back to help her flee. Even if her mind was playing tricks on her, his ghost would surely kill her.
“You wouldn’t take my calls. You rejected my letters. You wouldn’t let me explain—“
Rage canceled her fear. “I will never forgive you!”
He stopped in his tracks, smile vanishing. His eyes, always winter cold, became infected with the same rage that sizzled in her veins.
“You can’t let that come between us.”
She surged to her feet and faced the apparition with her hands clenched into fists at her sides.
“You let it come between us. I warned you.” She tugged on her hair. “I fucking told you how I felt, and you still…”
The tear ducts she thought were drier than the Sahara Desert churned to life.
“I was so fucking stupid thinking you cared for me. You’re incapable. You said so yourself. You were conning me, like you do everybody. You manipulated—“
He came at her so fast, her back hit the wall before she registered he’d put his hands on her. The flash of pain as her head hit the wall and then the reality of a hand clapping over her mouth, cutting off her air, snapped off her outrage as quickly as it had come. He wasn’t a figment of her imagination. He was real. She couldn’t replicate the way strands of wet hair drooped over his forehead as he crouched down to put his face directly in front of hers.
“If I didn’t care for you, I wouldn’t have gone to prison for you. I could have had you killed before you testified, or even when you accepted pathetic police protection. I allowed myself to be locked up so you could have your revenge. If anyone’s been manipulated, it’s me. I gave up my mission for you. I allowed myself to be distracted and look where it’s brought us.”
Then I indulged in an idea about a nanny for a billionaire:
“Mr. Carter,” she said and tugged on her arm, but he didn’t release her.
“You called me Drew a second ago.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not.”
She glanced up at him and saw he was looking down at her. Her stomach clenched. Immediately, she looked ahead and dug her heels in when she saw they were approaching his suite.
“I should get back to—“
He ignored her and dragged her the last few feet to his suite and waved the keycard in front of the door.
“Mr. Carter,” she said urgently and gasped when he propelled her into his room. “Mr. Carter, the boys—“
“Are fast asleep. We’re going to talk.”
“Why?”
He eyed her through narrow eyes. “Isn’t it normal for me to want to talk to my son’s nanny?”
“No,” she said bluntly.
His lips curved on one side. “Fair enough.” His eyes moved over her pensively before he said, “What was that?”
“What was what?”
He raised a brow. “Howard approached you.”
“Yes.”
“He propositioned you.” She gave a one-shoulder shrug that made his eyes narrow. “Does that happen often?”
“It happens,” she said shortly and clasped her hands behind her back. “I have duties to attend to, Mr. Carter.”
“Like what?”
And there’s this story I’ve been working on and off on for years called Dirty, Filthy, Web. A twisted relationship with a step-brother:
“Why won’t you look at me? Why do you ignore me and walk away when I’m talking to you? Why do you make it so damn hard for me to feel like I have to do more to be a part of this family?”
“You’re imagining things.”
She gave him a little shake. “Prove it!”
He stared at her for a moment. There was so much swimming in his eyes—emotions and thoughts he would never share. She was tempted to give him another shake, hoping that would shock him into being open and honest for once, but before she could, his gaze lowered to her mouth. The warmth from the fire and her anger was ripped from her and replaced with icy dread. She had seen that look in the eyes of many men, sometimes accompanied by a hint of cruelty. She thought she was safe. She never thought he would… Nathan’s lids came down, an effective shade that concealed the lust swimming in his eyes.
“Breathe, Lana,” he murmured gently and skimmed his broad palm down her rigid back.
When he felt her tremble, he let out a gruff curse and wrapped his arms around her. He rocked her from side to side as he had the day after the hearing while she tried to regain control of her reeling senses.
“I promised you would never have anything to fear,” he said fiercely against her temple. “And that goes for me as well. I would never harm you.”
“I-I know,” she stammered.
A thrill of heat cut through her panic when his fingers tunneled into her hair and gently grasped to tilt her face up to his. Those Web eyes raked over her face. His free hand tilted her face to the firelight and swiped across her cheek, capturing a tear she didn’t realize she’d shed.
“I mean it.”
His voice was so low, she felt his words more than heard them.
“I would never hurt you.”
His eyes tracked another falling tear. The pain on his face began to thaw the invisible block of ice she was encased in.
“Don’t cry,” he begged before he dipped his head down and captured the salty drop with his lips.
Her heart slammed so hard against her ribs, she was surprised the organ didn’t rupture.
“You’ve endured enough pain to last multiple lifetimes,” he breathed fervently against her temple as the hand that had tugged on her hair began to stroke. “No one is worth crying over. Not me and not anyone who tried to hold you down. Whatever you set your mind to, you’ll succeed. You’re going to soar, Lana.”
More tears fell. His thumb swiped over the apple of her cheek.
“You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, least of all me. You’re a better daughter than I’ve ever been a son. You make them happy in a way neither me or Nicki ever could. Sometimes, you shine so bright, it hurts to look at you.”
A man finds a woman beaten and left for dead in the Alaska wilderness, where he lives a life of solitude. He nurses her back to health, only to discover she has amnesia. With no idea who she is, where she’s from, or why someone would want her dead, she stays on his off-grid compound and learns survival skills. This book would be told almost exclusively from his POV.
“Taylor.”
Immediately, her head swiveled in his direction. It always startled him to have her respond to the name he had given her. It was almost like he had created her. If she remembered who she was before she ended up in the river, she gave no indication of it, responding to Taylor as if it were the only name she’d ever known. No one could be that great of an actress. He cocked his head as he examined her. He didn’t know what life she led before him. He could still remember her painted nails, the soft, unblemished skin, and the tan line indicating that she’d once been married. He assumed she led a privileged life and that she would leave as soon as she was able, but she stayed. Why? Even as the question drifted through his mind, he answered himself. Because she had nowhere else to go. There was no other reason for a woman to stick it out in the wild with him. She learned to hunt and build and work the greenhouse. She worked right alongside him without complaint, never crowding, never pushing for anything. It was almost as if he had molded her into the perfect woman… He ignored the rolling in his gut. But he was aware that if she ever got her memory back, she would leave. He was ashamed to admit that he selfishly hoped she never recovered that part of her identity so he could keep her for his own. But this was no life for a woman. He knew that, but he didn’t care.
Woman moves to the end of the earth and introduces herself to her new, unhinged neighbor:
“It’s not safe for you out here,” he said.
Her brows came together in confusion. “Are you talking about the wildlife?” When he didn’t clarify, she continued, “The weather?”
He shook his head.
Her foot tapped once. She couldn’t help it. Although his eyes didn’t leave hers, she knew he caught it. Those black eyes didn’t miss a damn thing. There was something about them that made her chest feel tight. She thought introducing herself to her nearest neighbor would reassure her, but Ramsey wasn’t reacting the way she hoped. She hadn’t expected a warm welcome, but she also hadn’t expected him to try to run her off.
“Why wouldn’t I be safe out here?” she demanded.
When he took a step toward her, she stiffened to stop herself from backing away. He was massive—wide and tall and built like a damn Viking. She wasn’t sure what race he was when his skin was so dark from the sun and his features dominated by his wild hair. She looked up and squinted against the blast of sun, which threw his features into shadow.
“You aren’t safe out here because I’m here.”
Her heart skipped a beat. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
She obeyed her screaming instincts and took a step back. He didn’t move, he just watched her with those eyes that told her absolutely nothing.
“What game are you playing?”
“No game.”
For the first time, his eyes left hers and moved over her body. She stiffened in alarm and felt the fine hairs on her arm stand up before his eyes came back to hers, narrowed and filled with something that made her stumble back.
“I’m gonna fuck you.”
His calm, matter of fact tone made her heart stop.
“I came here to live the way I want, without the law getting in my way.” His eyes dropped to her chest and his fingertips brushed against one another as he growled, “You stay, I’ll hunt you.”
When her hand went protectively to her throat, he shook his head.
“I won’t kill you, though if anyone was around, they’d hear your screams and think I was. But they’d see you the next day and know exactly what I was doing to you had nothing to do with pain.”
“You…” Her thoughts were whirling. She jabbed a finger at him. “You can’t…”
“I can’t what?”
He reached for her, and she let out an embarrassing squawk and stumbled back into her truck. For the first time, a hint of humor lit his eyes.
“You wanted to live at the edge of the world, baby? You got it. Here, there are no rules, no laws, no help. You need something, you do it yourself or try to bargain with the few who calls the woods their home. We’re all here for a reason, to battle our demons.”
He crowded her against her vehicle. He was so close, she could smell the tang of metal and the scent of cedar. She stared at his chest, frozen in place, as if by being still and silent, he wouldn’t attack.
A hand cupped her chin and forced her head up. Her mind disconnected from the shock of being touched, the bizarre turn this encounter had taken, and the feeling that she was seconds away from being devoured.
“What are you running from?”
A calloused thumb brushed over her bottom lip. She gasped and saw his eyes narrow into slits before his head dipped down, and a hot mouth covered hers. She jerked back, knocking her head against metal and detaching their mouths for a brief second, but a massive hand cradled the back of her head, cushioning her head and imprisioning her as his mouth settled once again on hers. Her hands landed on his chest as she made an urgent sound, desperate for space and air, but he wouldn’t give it to her. Her nipples hardened as his tongue entered her mouth at the same moment that a thick thigh parted her legs.
She staggered back, clutching the halves of her open shirt. Her boob flopped over her bra cup.
His hand brushed over his crotch. “Stay.”
His voice was soft. Taunting, mocking, and daring all at the same time.
She bared her teeth at him. “Touch me again, I’ll shoot you.”
He smiled full out. “Been shot before. Survived.”
I thought these would be fun to share and I can look back on this post in future and maybe act on one of these ideas. I think it’s important to indulge your creativity and play without thinking about the business side of things and worrying if it’s going to be successful or that anyone will read it. I genuinely love to write, so when I have the opportunity, I let my mind travel down all sorts of paths. I love seeing people from different backgrounds and circumstances clash. My more explicit, exploratory stories with non PC, brutish men will go under Dinah Harper. The psycho cult leader and this last one would def go there.
And once I settled in Hawaii, I wrote first drafts of:
Singed Series:
Book 3: Bitter Confessions (120k words)
Book 4: TBA (66k)
2024 Projects/Projections
German, French, and Italian translations for the Singed Series will come out in early 2024!
Bitter Confessions will publish in early 2024. Once I have a book blurb, I’ll set a pre-order!
After Bitter Confessions is published, I want to finish book 4 and release in late summer/early Fall? I would like to write books 4 & 5 back to back so they’re cohesive. Book 5 would release early 2025?
I don’t know if I’ll take a break from the Singed Series to work on the Crime Lord Series? They’re both long, involved series with tons of characters. It takes a while for me to mentally switch into the rhythm of each series. And once I’m there, I like to luxuriate in that. A big thing about Carmen’s books is I wanted to write a book that came after hers since the timeline overlaps with her story. So that’s another reason why I’d need a big block of time to work on it and why I can’t just dip in, publish, and dip out.
I’m so close to the end of the Singed Series. I wonder if it’s just better to finish that out completely and then dedicate myself to the Crime Lord Series. I’m not sure. It depends on contracts, my mental state, flow—a ton of factors. All I know about 2024 so far is that I’m (hoping) to release 2 more books in the Singed Series. There’s always a chance that I may write something short (hopefully a standalone) in between the Singed Series (maybe one of the stories above?).
This coming year, I’ll be working on getting as many books as I can into audio. That will be done in the background. I’ll also be rebranding the Crime Lord Series (I can’t wait!!).
Personal
I was initially disappointed that I didn’t accomplish as much I wanted to in 2023. But, when I listed what I did, I was pleasantly surprised and gave myself a pat on the back.
I’m honestly shocked that despite the hectic beginning of the year, I managed to write rough drafts for two books, did production on an audiobook, have been trying to be more active on social media, actually send newsletters… I’ve done more than I have in the past, and that’s all while not having a home base.
Anchoring somewhere is one of my main goals in 2024. To find my place and stop wandering around. I need a safe place to create, recuperate, and settle. I’ve been on the run for 15 years, never staying anywhere long, constantly looking at the horizon, wondering what’s beyond… And my productivity has definitely paid the price for my restlessness.
I started owning the “I’m a writer” thing this year. I used to say I was an editor when people asked, since that doesn’t normally lead to more questions. I never gave anyone my pen name, but this year, a novel thing happened. Two of my friends who’ve known me for 15+ years read my books. One of my friends in her late 60s said it wasn’t for her (which is what I predicted). As for my other friend, we’ve known each other since we were kids. I told her my author name, not thinking much of it, only to have her read through every book! I was just as alarmed as Jasmine was when meeting Sarai. LMAO.
Thank you!
Thank you for making 2023 a successful comeback year for me! I almost gave up writing altogether, but I’m grateful I returned to see my series through. I fully plan on completing the Singed Series, Crime Lord Series, and when I can I’ll write a sequel or companion piece for Corrupt Idol. The sequel requires some research, but if I wanted to write something fast, I thought it might be interesting to write from his POV and delve into their childhood… IDK. I have to reel in my wayward imagination or I’ll never get anything done. That’s the main reason I’ve been hyper focused on the Singed Series. Focusing on one thing helps get me to the finish line quicker.
I’ll continue to update my blog, so check here for more in depth news and updates. My preferred social media is Instagram, but I’ve deleted the app recently to concentrate on completing Bitter Confessions. And that will probably hold true with me downloading the app only to upload a pic before promptly deleting again.
Anyway, thanks again! I wouldn’t be able to do this without you all! Thank you to everyone who recommends my books, who take beautiful pictures like those shown above, make reels, starts Reddit discussions, and overall helps get the word out about my stories!
I am so excited for 2024! Here’s to all the good things to come!