10/1/21

Bitter Secrets Snippet

Only someone with no sense of self-preservation would agree to such high stakes. Roth was dangerous, bitter, secretive, violent, and so much more, but… he was the only person in the world who brought her to life. He challenged, horrified, sated, and comforted her. No one else made her feel like him. He could make the rest of the world cease to exist for her. He understood things about her she had never told another living soul. She didn’t know why she had this connection with him, why it had stayed intact all these years. It shouldn’t have and she wished to God it hadn’t, but the ties between them hadn’t been severed by distance, time, or their tumultuous history. She wasn’t sure what would cause that final break, but it would come. It was inevitable.

Draft of Bitter Secrets © 2021 Mia Knight

Update

Hey guys, sorry I haven’t been posting. I hurt my hands/wrists/arms and have been taking a much-needed break. I’ve been spending so much time on the computer whether that’s on website stuff, writing blogs/the book, and everything else that arm cramps were waking me up at night. I realize if I don’t slow down and take care of myself, I’ll be having carpal tunnel surgery before I reach 35 and the books will take even longer. So, I’m reducing my time spent on the computer and taking care of my hands by doing stretches and wearing braces.

I think weekly blogs are a bit too much and also, getting weekly comments where people are constantly complaining that I’m taking too long or telling me to go fuck myself gets old. So, for my physical and mental well-being, I think I’m going to do a beginning/end of the month update and leave it at that.

Although this book is driving me up the wall, I have to say, I don’t think I’ve enjoyed a story more. I’m not sure if it’s the compelling characters, the richness of their world that feels even more real than my own, or if I’m simply obsessed, but something about this feels so novel. I’ve never been so challenged or so heavily rewarded by the characters for being such a good… servant? Steward? Not sure what you would call it, but I feel that stories (like ideas, songs, etc) go from person to person, just hoping someone will bring them into existence. And I feel that this story is quite special. I’m not deluded enough to think that it’s gonna be a bestseller or anything like that, but I’ve connected on such a personal level with these characters that I have no intention of putting out something that I am not 100% proud of and tells their story in it’s entirety.

I think people are so impatient nowadays. We live in a insta-world. No one spends time on anything. Relationships are easily discarded. So are projects, objects, and other things. It’s rare to find someone willing to put in weeks, months, or even a year into something. I’m not sure how much I’ll make off of this book. There is no guaranteed set amount, yet I spend every day diligently tapping the keys, patiently working with the characters so we get this right. It’s a labor of love. I’m not motivated by money, which is why I’m willing to do things other authors won’t. I mean, thank God I don’t have dependents and I’m able to be an artist who has the luxury of chipping away at the marble every day, knowing that little by little, something timeless is taking shape and will be circulating long after I’m gone.

I wasn’t sure if I was too in love with what I was doing and I was writing garbage so I put out a couple chapters of PT 2 to my patrons. I have the writers version of stage fright, which means putting out my work literally makes me sick. In a way, Patreon has been a blessing and a curse because it forces me to churn out work, rain or shine, and get used to showing imperfect stuff. (I know there’s no such thing as perfect, but when you publish, it’s as close as possible and people still say you’re a fucking loser. So, putting out raw stuff was horrifying, but I think it’s been a great, healthy experience and helped me to stop editing/overthinking so much). Maybe that has also contributed to the joy I’ve felt writing this book? Writing a story while hundreds of people are walking beside you has been disconcerting, stressful, but also humbling and delightful. There’s been this fascinating give and take with the patrons that has made me consider things I normally wouldn’t have and taken me on detours that have become poignant turning points in the book.

I’ve been going at a breakneck pace for months and yet, the story is still unraveling. My word count estimate for PT 2 is around 190k words. So, it looks like Bitter Secrets is actually going to be 3 full books split into 2, which is what happened last year with Carmen’s story. So, although people are annoyed with me, it’s actually because I’m writing 3 full novels back to back, not one. (Of course this makes no difference to assholes, but I’m just saying…) I’m going to take all the time that I need for my health and the characters and just know when it finally comes out, it’ll be the best I could make it.

Oh, and from the feedback I’ve seen, the patrons enjoyed what I’ve shown of PT 2! Here are some of the comments:

I let my patrons know about my hands. I won’t be posting in October so whoever is an existing patron won’t be charged. I’m going to be offline finishing up PT 2 and editing the raw draft and coming back to post PT 2 once it’s complete.

Shout out to my patrons who have been so generous, supportive, and positive and thank you to those who still recommend me despite my major gap in releases. When I am ready to publish, it’ll be with a vengeance. Bitter Secrets will be split into 2 lengthy books and Carmen’s will be just as ridiculous, so keep the faith. It’ll be worth it in the end.

I hope you all are doing well and do at least one thing that makes you happy. Things are so restricted that we have to appreciate the little things so take care of yourself, be kind, and grateful that you’ve come this far. We’re gonna make it through!