Mia Knight https://miaknight.com Author Mon, 12 Nov 2018 18:13:10 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.8 Release Party for Crime Lord’s Paradise https://miaknight.com/2018/10/12/release-party-for-crime-lords-paradise/ https://miaknight.com/2018/10/12/release-party-for-crime-lords-paradise/#respond Fri, 12 Oct 2018 06:20:47 +0000 https://miaknight.com/?p=573 Hey everyone! We’re doing a release party for Crime Lord’s Paradise in my Facebook group, Mia Knight’s Captives on October 14. I’m being joined by an amazing group of authors! Jane Henry, Soraya Naomi, Cora Reilly, JC Grant, & Lana Sky. There will be games, giveaways, and fun so make sure you tune in! I…

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Hey everyone! We’re doing a release party for Crime Lord’s Paradise in my Facebook group, Mia Knight’s Captives on October 14. I’m being joined by an amazing group of authors! Jane Henry, Soraya Naomi, Cora Reilly, JC Grant, & Lana Sky. There will be games, giveaways, and fun so make sure you tune in! I will also be answering some questions, so make sure you submit yours by filling out this form.

Once again, thank you to everyone who has sent me sweet and encouraging messages and emails for Crime Lord’s Paradise. They brighten my day!

 

 

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Crime Lord’s Paradise & Winter Writing Updates https://miaknight.com/2018/10/05/crime-lords-paradise-winter-writing-updates/ https://miaknight.com/2018/10/05/crime-lords-paradise-winter-writing-updates/#comments Fri, 05 Oct 2018 07:58:09 +0000 https://miaknight.com/?p=561 After Gavin Pyre steps down from his position as crime lord, he and Lyla focus on picking up the pieces of their lives and creating the paradise they deserve. Amazon, Kobo, iBooks, Barnes&Noble, Playster FINALLY it’s on all retailers. I thought it would be fun to do a surprise release. Uh, no, not fun. More…

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After Gavin Pyre steps down from his position as crime lord, he and Lyla focus on picking up the pieces of their lives and creating the paradise they deserve.

Amazon, Kobo, iBooks, Barnes&Noble, Playster

FINALLY it’s on all retailers. I thought it would be fun to do a surprise release. Uh, no, not fun. More like nightmare. More like HELL. Having the book go live within 3 hours on some retailers and 24 on others was a bitch. Therefore, you better believe the next book is getting a damn preorder. My sincere apologies to the poor souls who had to wait hours or a day longer than everyone else!

Releasing a book is always nerve-wracking for any author and particularly me since I don’t release that often. I don’t even like bothering people to tell them I have a book coming out. LOL. For those who reached out to me as soon as I announced there would be a new release, you guys are a special breed. I got emails saying, “Hooray! Thanks for letting me know. Keep me informed, okay?” And then there’s the flip side: “Where the hell is book 5?” (I’m going to go hide now). Every time I release, my readers humble the fuck out of me. The emails, posts, tags, and reviews you guys leave or send to me just blow me away. Having people empathize and be so invested with the characters I spend so much time with is a miracle! I still can’t believe I’m so fortunate. I have the best job in the world!

I’ve been in Sin City for over a year, but I think I need more quiet. Too much drama in the city (ironic, I know). SO, I wasn’t sure where I want to move. Thank God, I have an amazing friend who is letting me stay in her Utah home. (The pic isn’t her actual house, but this will probably be me in the future. Hermit-writer.) I’ll be in Utah for the winter, writing book 5 and 6 and who knows what else. (I’ve been bombarded with so many stories lately, I don’t know how my brain is retaining all this insane info.) But my main objective is to complete Carmen’s book. I’ve said before that the timelines in 5 and 6 intersect so I need to write them at the same time, which is why I need more time. Because I feel terrible for being a slow mo fo here’s a sneak peek of book 5. This is a draft and some things may change so take what you read with a grain of salt.

I figure I’ll bunker down in Utah and if I get itchy feet I’ll go see my siblings or friends who live in the Pacific Northwest. Anyone need a house sitter?? Bwhaha. Nora Roberts wrote about a writer who was a house sitter. Mind. Blown. I can’t believe people do that for a living. If I wasn’t a writer, that’s what I’d be trying to get into. I still might… LOL. I haven’t found my place yet. Therefore, I wander. I’m hoping on my travels this summer I’ll find a place that feels right. I’m trying to learn to just go with the flow. We’ll see how that goes.

I’m gonna wrap this up by telling you again, thank you so much for your patience and support. I love the emails and messages and tags on social media. You guys are the best and I couldn’t do it without you! Your enthusiasm and support urge me onward and I can’t wait to show you what else I’ve got in store. 😉 I don’t know how much I’ll be online, but if I disappear, know I’m writing, which means good things for you as well! I love you guys!

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Crime Lord’s Paradise https://miaknight.com/2018/09/30/crime-lords-paradise/ https://miaknight.com/2018/09/30/crime-lords-paradise/#comments Sun, 30 Sep 2018 10:00:06 +0000 https://miaknight.com/?p=531 Crime Lord Series, Book 4.5 After Gavin Pyre steps down from his position as crime lord, he and Lyla focus on picking up the pieces of their lives and creating the paradise they deserve. AHHH I am in love with this cover! I feel it fits the story and this point in Gavin & Lyla’s…

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Crime Lord Series, Book 4.5

After Gavin Pyre steps down from his position as crime lord, he and Lyla focus on picking up the pieces of their lives and creating the paradise they deserve.

AHHH I am in love with this cover! I feel it fits the story and this point in Gavin & Lyla’s relationship. My designer did a stellar job. I told her “tropical with edge” and she delivered! There will be no preorder. I will release within the next 2 weeks and report immediately once its live!

I wasn’t planning to write this novella. I was thinking of a bonus clip to put at the back of book 5 and thought it would be fun to write about Gavin and Lyla in Bora Bora (mentioned in Awakened by Sin). So, I began a scene with Lyla on the beach. One clip turned into two and all of a sudden, I realized that I could expand it into a short story. A catch up, if you will. Gavin and Lyla will get one more full novel within the series, so I knew we’d revisit them, but definitely not so soon! You’d think after 3 novels, they’d be talked out. Guess not.

I hope you enjoy this novella. We’re just tapping lightly on the surface of these characters and seeing what they divulge. I fell into Gavin and Lyla as if I never left them. I enjoyed writing this and hope you enjoy it as much as I did! I love writing Gavin’s POV and watching to see how he’ll react to things. I can’t wait to write Crime Lord’s Captive from his POV. This is a future project along with the prequel: their first meet until he gets her back. That’s going to be a long one. I still need more info from the other novels, so I’ll wait for the characters to fill in the blanks for me.

I’m holing up in a cabin in Utah for the winter so I will be writing books 5 and 6 and releasing in early 2019. Thank you all for being so patient and encouraging. I couldn’t do this without you! I will be posting everywhere as soon as Crime Lord’s Paradise is live! Here is an excerpt of chapter one!

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Road Trip – Oregon https://miaknight.com/2018/08/05/road-trip-oregon/ https://miaknight.com/2018/08/05/road-trip-oregon/#respond Sun, 05 Aug 2018 20:52:37 +0000 http://www.miaknight.com/?p=474 (Ok,  so this post is month’s overdue, but better late than never, right?) After my visit to Lake Tahoe, I was supposed to spend a day or two in Klamath Falls, but I ended up passing through because of an upcoming snow storm. I did a straight shot from Lake Tahoe to Eugene, a nine…

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(Ok,  so this post is month’s overdue, but better late than never, right?)

After my visit to Lake Tahoe, I was supposed to spend a day or two in Klamath Falls, but I ended up passing through because of an upcoming snow storm. I did a straight shot from Lake Tahoe to Eugene, a nine hour drive through terrible rain and winding roads. My windshield wipers couldn’t go fast enough, my windows were fogging up, and I could barely see. I thought I was going to die. Anyway, long story short, I made it. I was beyond exhausted by the time I made it to my sister’s place. My sister was watching for me from her window. She spotted me and came running down the stairs and hugged me. I burst into tears of relief and also happiness since I hadn’t seen her in a year. It was a Hallmark moment.

I spent about a week and a half in Oregon. I was scoping out the place to see if I wanted to move there. I love the vibe, the landscapes, and being closer to family. I drove around and decided to rent a cliff house with an amazing view.

  

This location was so remote that I didn’t have cell service, which freaked me out. Thankfully, my brother came down from Seattle (a 6 hour drive) to stay with me. He arrived at 1:30am with groceries galore and cooked up a storm (he’s an executive chef and was appalled by the fact I only brought food to make sandwiches). We didn’t go to sleep until 3am. It’s been a year since I saw him as well. We spent the next day talking, eating, watching TV, and enjoying the view. The location and sound of the ocean worked wonders on us. We all lead hectic lives so time outs like this are necessary to help us regroup. Here’s a pic of him enjoying the sunset:

The next day we drove to Eugene to surprise my sister who hadn’t seen him in almost 2 years. We caught her right before she left for work. My brother  stood out of  sight  as  I  knocked and gave some BS excuse to get them to  open the door. My sister  didn’t have  pants on and was horrified when my brother  walked in. LMAO.

My brother and I cruised around  Eugene on the best dirty chai I’ve ever tasted before we went back to the cliff house and he headed back to Seattle, hyped on caffeine. My sister and her husband joined me for a couple days. I spent one more night with them before I left for Las Vegas. I stopped in Medford (which I would like to visit again in future). I stayed in a hotel, which is hell when you have dogs. Ahh! I also stopped in Mount Shasta, a tiny town filled with friendly people, a breathtaking view, and a front desk clerk who told me to “calm down” when I wrote 2013 as the date when checking in. By that point, my brain was fried to a crisp and I barely knew which state I was in. My last stop was Reno where I stayed for 2 days before I did the 7+ hour drive back to Las Vegas.

My trip was about 4 weeks long. I added over 2500 miles to my Honda CR-V and I got an education about driving long distances solo. My dogs were fucking troopers. My older boy was beyond over it on the last leg. Strangely, my puppy who was car sick in the beginning (don’t even get me started on this) was fine by the end. I left Las Vegas like a bat out of hell and drove back in, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel, desperate for a glimpse of my city. On the drive back, you don’t know how happy I was to see evergreens and mountains fade to sand and endless desert.

When I set out on the road trip, I wasn’t sure what I was looking for. All I knew was I needed to disconnect and take a break. There were many ups and downs on this trip, but it all worked out in the end. I don’t think wandering is a waste of time. Everything I do and experience somehow works it’s way into my writing so I’m glad for that. Also, it makes me appreciate the simple joy of coming home to your own place and that’s awesome.

During this trip I’ve watched way too many episodes of Ink Master and am now ready to tap those keys, baby. Stay tuned.

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Road trip – Lake Tahoe https://miaknight.com/2018/06/11/road-trip-lake-tahoe/ https://miaknight.com/2018/06/11/road-trip-lake-tahoe/#respond Mon, 11 Jun 2018 18:02:16 +0000 http://www.miaknight.com/?p=463 After I published Awakened by Sin I took off. After a hard year and an equally difficult book, I was emotionally and mentally drained. I needed to get away from my desk, away from my house, the ping of emails, the slew of reviews, and endless list of things to do. I needed the open…

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After I published Awakened by Sin I took off. After a hard year and an equally difficult book, I was emotionally and mentally drained. I needed to get away from my desk, away from my house, the ping of emails, the slew of reviews, and endless list of things to do. I needed the open road, a new scene, and quiet.

I’ve done several road trips, never by myself. My sister lives in Oregon and I hadn’t seen her for a year, so I decided to pack up my doggies and visit. I had no idea how long I was going to be gone and vague ideas of where I would stay. I tried to stay open and just do what felt right in the moment.

My first stop was Lake Tahoe. I felt like I had to stay here because the drive from Las Vegas was so damn far- 7 hours just to reach Reno and that’s without stopping for gas, potty breaks, and getting stuck behind big rigs or RV’s. So, let’s say 8 hours of driving. That’s a lot and I was still in Nevada and only halfway to my sister’s place.

I decided to spend a few days in Tahoe before I continued on my trek to Oregon. I was scrolling through Airbnb and came across a view that made my heart skip. This house on the lake made my imagination pulse with ideas and the view made my writer’s heart sing. I had to stay there! When I arrived, it was snowing, which I didn’t anticipate. Also, I failed to see how difficult it would be for the dogs since the house is built into a hill and there was no grass. I was amazed at how quickly the dogs adapted. They learned to go on the slopes and by the third day were hopping like agile billy goats up the hill, thank God. Here are some pictures of the coveted view:

I didn’t know that Lake Tahoe has a noise ordinance. This has to be the quietest place I’ve ever been and it had a therapeutic effect on me. I lounged, slept, ate, and started to relax. I watched 3 out of 4 sunrises and propped my feet on the railing and let myself mentally drift. Life seems simple when it’s quiet, there’s bad internet and phone service, and the water is so still that it reflects the sky.

Here’s a cute pic of my puppy, Koi, enjoying the moment:

I’m so glad I visited. I would love to come back in winter. I can imagine being holed up in a cabin, watching the snow fall on the lake as I write. This was definitely a highlight of my trip and a great way to start off my road trip!

 

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Offline Traveling and Writing https://miaknight.com/2018/04/14/offline-traveling-and-writing/ https://miaknight.com/2018/04/14/offline-traveling-and-writing/#comments Sat, 14 Apr 2018 10:39:09 +0000 http://www.miaknight.com/?p=441 I wanted to make a formal announcement that I will be offline traveling and writing. I have been overwhelmed with the positive response to Awakened by Sin! I couldn’t be happier! Before I start writing book 5 I need to take some time off to fill my well by wandering and visiting family. I will…

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I wanted to make a formal announcement that I will be offline traveling and writing. I have been overwhelmed with the positive response to Awakened by Sin! I couldn’t be happier! Before I start writing book 5 I need to take some time off to fill my well by wandering and visiting family. I will be spending several months on the road and stopping in remote locations to get some much needed rest. Don’t be alarmed if I don’t respond to your messages! I haven’t died. I am probably sleeping, writing, or on the road. LOL.

I know you all are anxiously awaiting news on book 5. The more time I spend offline, the quicker I will be able to produce a book. It takes time for me to write, so please be patient. I will report any news as soon as I have any.

Thank you for your support and understanding!

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Release party for Awakened by Sin, March 29 https://miaknight.com/2018/03/29/release-party-for-awakened-by-sin-march-29/ https://miaknight.com/2018/03/29/release-party-for-awakened-by-sin-march-29/#comments Thu, 29 Mar 2018 04:20:33 +0000 http://www.miaknight.com/?p=428 Hey everyone! Awakened by Sin is nearly here! I am having an epic party in my Facebook group, Mia Knight’s Captives. The party will run from 3 – 9 PM EST. There will be games, giveaways, and fun! I am honored to have this line up joining me: Amelia Hutchins, K. Webster, Lylah James, Amo…

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Hey everyone!

Awakened by Sin is nearly here! I am having an epic party in my Facebook group, Mia Knight’s Captives. The party will run from 3 – 9 PM EST. There will be games, giveaways, and fun!

I am honored to have this line up joining me: Amelia Hutchins, K. Webster, Lylah James, Amo Jones, Isabella Starling, JL Drake, Charmaine Pauls, Jennifer Bene, Michelle Brown, Bethany-Kris, Nikki Belaire, Mary Catherine Gebhard, Willow Winters, Lili Saint Germain, Michelle Hardin, A. Zavarelli, Addison Cain and Anita Gray.

Hope to see you there!

 

 

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The dreaded love triangle… https://miaknight.com/2018/03/26/the-dreaded-love-triangle/ https://miaknight.com/2018/03/26/the-dreaded-love-triangle/#respond Mon, 26 Mar 2018 04:25:46 +0000 http://www.miaknight.com/?p=421 Ah, so we come to the dreaded love triangle! Many people don’t care for love triangles, myself included. I was Team Jacob and stopped reading when Edward came back so I understand as a reader. LOL. I never intended for this story to be a love triangle, but in my Facebook group, the “Captives” kept…

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Ah, so we come to the dreaded love triangle! Many people don’t care for love triangles, myself included. I was Team Jacob and stopped reading when Edward came back so I understand as a reader. LOL.

I never intended for this story to be a love triangle, but in my Facebook group, the “Captives” kept bringing up the pros and cons for each guy and why both of them would be perfect for her… and they were right. This made me want to give both Marcus and Angel a shot. What I didn’t anticipate is what a huge headache it would be to write a love triangle. It sucks! If you give each guy a real shot, it’s like writing two romances in one. It made everything SO much more complicated. Many, MANY drafts later, I think I struck a good balance.

Marcus and Angel are perfect for Carmen in different ways. It all comes down to what type of life she wants. The deeper I got into the story and each man, the more I flip-flopped and panicked, because at times I wasn’t sure… This happened to me with Crime Lord’s Captive as well. Lyla wasn’t supposed to stay with Gavin, but mid-way through I decided to scrap my original idea and go with the anti-hero. I HATE when I’m unsure of who she ends up with  because that makes all my previous work moot.

Carmen is the exact opposite of Lyla. She’s wild, crazy, and lets it all hang out. She is definitely gonna cause a ruckus- and I fucking love it! She does what she wants, when she wants. She is gonna ruffle some feathers and turn some people off with her antics, but others will relate and cheer her on. She is a female alpha, a daughter of the underworld, and she takes no prisoners… and she is gonna lead whoever wants her on a merry chase.

Enjoy the ride, y’all! We have less than a week left. It’s gonna be epic! Don’t forget, I’m having an amazing line up of authors at my release party on March 29, 3-9PM EST. Games, giveaways, fun with authors and readers. What more could you want? Join HERE! 

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Writing Awakened by Sin https://miaknight.com/2018/03/21/writing-awakened-by-sin/ https://miaknight.com/2018/03/21/writing-awakened-by-sin/#comments Wed, 21 Mar 2018 02:54:25 +0000 http://www.miaknight.com/?p=407   With the release of Awakened by Sin approaching, I thought I’d offer the background of this novel, which is very different from the others. Originally, I intended the Crime Lord Series to be two books. At the end of Recaptured by the Crime Lord, I revealed the villain without much fanfare. I had a…

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With the release of Awakened by Sin approaching, I thought I’d offer the background of this novel, which is very different from the others. Originally, I intended the Crime Lord Series to be two books. At the end of Recaptured by the Crime Lord, I revealed the villain without much fanfare. I had a nice epilogue of Gavin and Lyla and that was that. A beta reader questioned me further. “What’s next?” she asked. “That’s it,” I said. She wouldn’t let it go. She asked me about the fate of the underworld and a bunch of other things I didn’t allow myself to consider since I was so focused on closing the “series.” It took me a week to decide to change the ending and sketch out another book, which became Once A Crime Lord. I sewed more characters into the fabric of the world and gave Sadist a proper, bloody send off. It was glorious!

I always loved Carmen so I didn’t think writing her story would be difficult. I was dead wrong. Carmen and I are opposites so falling into her mindset and emotional state was like teaching someone to swim in rough water, which means that I fucking floundered and thrashed about. I wrote Carmen’s book over the span of one year, dipping in and out of it at least three times before dropping it for one reason or another. It was so difficult to get a pulse on this book and no matter what I did, the story felt flat and one dimensional. I have countless drafts. The extra scenes are ridiculous- over 40k words, which could be considered a novel in itself. If I hadn’t already announced Carmen would be next, I would have given up on her. Instead, I was forced to push through and wrote a lot of crap. The biggest problem was that I had never lost anyone close to me so I couldn’t relate to an essential part of her. When Vinny was murdered in book 1, I didn’t know that one day I would have to deal with her grief. I worried that I didn’t have the experience and skill to write her story convincingly.

In May 2017 I made the decision to move back to the mainland from Hawaii. I was making a big change in my life and was unsure about my future, but felt it was the right thing to do. This was a good reason to put Carmen to the side. I busied myself with arrangements and mentally braced to be completely on my own again. Two weeks before I moved, disaster struck. I lost my dog, Maile, in a freak accident. She was here today and gone the next. I’m a gypsy and never stay anywhere for long. My 2 dogs have been the only constants in my life for 9 years. My girl, the one who stuck to me like glue, passed. I was totally blindsided by this. Not only was I facing a new chapter in my life, I was suddenly facing it without my best friend. I finally understood Carmen’s pain.

It took me months to adjust to being in the city again and I did it with a heavy heart. Writing is linked to my emotional state. I can’t write when my head is all cloudy. I was terrified to write this book because I knew the floodgates would open and I wasn’t sure what would come out of me. When I felt strong enough to face the blank screen again, I put my hands on the keys and my heart bled. It’s crazy how Carmen and my life suddenly became parallel- starting over, functioning through the pain and guilt, and trying to find what makes you happy. Through my own struggles, I understood hers and we grew together.

Carmen made me laugh, cry, and cheer. She was a breath of fresh air in my dark world. Through her, I fell in love with writing all over again. I weaved Marcus and Angel into her story and finally, the book began to take shape and it felt right. Her story broke me and mended me at the same time. This book is the most emotionally complex thing I’ve ever written. It absorbed everything I had and demanded more. Awakened by Sin drained me.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous for people to read a book. Not only was it written in my own blood, it was also a different character and the pacing and rhythm was so different from the previous 3. I didn’t know if people would understand or if I was revealing too much about myself… I figure it’s never wrong to show that you’re human. I told myself if one person understands and relates to this story, I win… and so does Carmen.

I hope you enjoy Awakened by Sin and all the laughs, cries, and chaos imbedded in it’s pages. It’s going to be an amazing ride!

 

 

 

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2017 Wrap-up: My personal lessons, highlights, & reflections https://miaknight.com/2018/01/01/2017-wrap-up/ https://miaknight.com/2018/01/01/2017-wrap-up/#respond Mon, 01 Jan 2018 02:17:20 +0000 http://www.miaknight.com/?p=376 Right now your social media feeds are being filled with new year’s resolutions, sum up’s of 2017, hopes and dreams for the future, and words of wisdom for 2018. This is my own personal reflection of 2017. This post may sound cliche AF, but I lived this, and it’s what I found myself jotting in…

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Right now your social media feeds are being filled with new year’s resolutions, sum up’s of 2017, hopes and dreams for the future, and words of wisdom for 2018. This is my own personal reflection of 2017. This post may sound cliche AF, but I lived this, and it’s what I found myself jotting in my journal this morning on the last day of 2017.

2017 was a crazy bitch. She pushed me to the brink mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually. When I thought I couldn’t take anymore, she happily shoved me over the cliff into the abyss with an evil cackle. It was exhilarating, crippling, soul-crushing, and empowering. 2017 opened my eyes to so many things- the elusive taste of success, my poor self-esteem, how fear and uncertainty can keep you from living life, the generosity of strangers, and how to listen to your heart.

I quit my corporate job in August 2016. I had 3 months savings to give myself time to write. During that time I published 2 books I wrote at the beginning of the year, a project I called the Crime Lord Series. I published book 1 in September and book 2 in November. My little series made a little hit and I was stunned, ecstatic, and terrified it was a fluke and would flatline at any moment. A year later, I’m still here.

I found my tribe, my girls, my “Captive’s.” I didn’t know there were people out there who would see the beauty in darkness and not only revel in it, but crave more like me. For the first time in my life, I’ve found a group of people who understand the dark parts I can’t share with friends and family. My girls selflessly offer support, encouragement, and love and I couldn’t be more humbled. I’m continually surprised every day when I hear a kind word or someone offers to help me. If you could see me, you’d know I continuously adopt Taylor Swift’s disbelieving expression, the one she wears every time she wins an award. I think my girls understand me more than my own family. I’ve always been the weirdo, the loner, the one all in my head. Now, I’ve found my people and I can’t believe I’m that fucking lucky to talk to people who are as invested in my world and characters as I am. They’ve given the characters more depth and color and I couldn’t be more overjoyed to have people share my obsessions.

Professionally, I’ve done better than I ever have at any job. It’s unbelievable. I was able to take an epic train ride from West to East Coast- Washington to New York. I got to visit places I’ve written about and never seen with my own eyes. All I kept thinking was, “Little writer, big world.” 🙂 While on this trip I realized that I wanted to take advantage of my profession and travel more, go to conferences, and meet other writers. A month after I got back from the trip, I decided to move back to the mainland within the next 2 months. The arrangements weren’t easy, but I busted my ass to make it happen. I was terrified of leaving the safety of home, but I pushed onward, certain that staying on an island in the middle of the Pacific wasn’t doing me any favors. I also sensed in my gut that to get to the next level, I had to make a change. 2 weeks before my move to Las Vegas, tragedy struck.

I lost my dog, Maile. She was my everything. I got her when I turned 20 and had her 9 years. She’d been through hell and back with me. I lost her in a tragic accident. Here one day, gone the other. Her death left me and my other dog shell-shocked. I lost my best friend from high school a month before I quit my corporate job in 2016. Her death is what what propelled me to chase my dream. My best friend was the first close loss I ever had. Her death shocked me, but Maile devastated me. I moved to Las Vegas with this heavy weight on my chest. What should have felt like a victory suddenly felt shallow and hollow. I tried to settle into my new life, but I was worried about my other dog who was withdrawn and losing weight. Too many changes at once. I was afraid of losing him too. I decided he needed a partner. I love the traits of the Lhasa apso breed. Just so happened there were 2 available- a boy and a girl puppy. Based on temperament, I got the boy. When I was at the register paying for my new puppy, the woman commented on my debit card, which was from a Hawaii bank. It had a tribal koi fish design on it. “Koi fish are good luck,” she informed me. “A sign of good fortune and prosperity.” It stuck with me so I named my new puppy Koi, my good luck charm. Having a puppy is the best and worst thing I could do when I’m trying to settle in and work. He’s been a constant source of exasperation and hilarity. He reminds me of her so much. It rips me up and soothes me at the same time. His abundant puppy energy, curiosity, and ability to forget things within minutes reminds me to live in the moment. Maile left her mark. I don’t regret a thing and would do it all over again. My boys have adjusted to one another and are now thriving and happy. That’s all that matters.

My move to Las Vegas has been filled with lots of bumps in the road, but I’ve settled and know this is where I’m supposed to be for the moment. Next year? No idea. 2018 is almost here and whispering indecipherable sweet nothings in my ear. I have no idea what 2018 holds, but I know it’s going to be great because I know I’m capable of handling whatever comes.

I listed these truths/lessons for myself this morning (warning: cliche territory, but it’s true in my case):

  • Be bold
  • Be humble
  • Be genuine
  • Be personable
  • Be kind
  • Be strong, confident, and know your worth
  • Don’t let fear and uncertainty hold you back from what you know you’re supposed to do
  • Listen to your heart- it’ll never steer you wrong
  • Surround yourself with people who support and love you
  • Take risks
  • Allow yourself to dream, allow yourself to strive
  • Do whatever it takes
  • Do what’s best for you. You are the only one who knows what you need.
  • Let people in
  • Remember to have fun

This year has been filled with major highs and lows for me, but I think I’ve finally found my feet. I’m ending the year the same way I started it, with Carmen’s book. At the beginning of the year I didn’t know the depth of Carmen’s pain of regret, guilt, and loss. Now I do. Writing this book is painful. Tapping into that loss is draining, but I know it will be cathartic and healing.

I wanted to thank everyone for giving me a chance, for reaching out to me to offer a friendly word, and for cheering me on. It matters. I hope to release around 3 Crime Lord books this coming year. Hopefully, I will find a place that feels like home where I can settle, dream, and write to my heart’s content. Thank you for making 2017 one of the best year’s of my life!

 

 

 

 

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